martes, 18 de enero de 2011

Exercise of the brain


Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If  you don't use it, you will lose it," also applies to the brain, so..

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it."
OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.

  1. What do you put in a toaster?





Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

  1. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?





Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over-stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Children's World."  If you said "water," proceed to question 3.

  1. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?





Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing reading these questions?????  If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

  1. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes
    smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.


Where would you bury the survivors? . . . in East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?




Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," proceed to

  1. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?





Answer: One degree! . If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

  1. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on.
    In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at  Milford Haven.
    What was the name of the bus driver?





Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember?
It was YOU!!

miércoles, 5 de enero de 2011

20 Things To Remember During The Working Day

1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

7. Plagiarism saves time.

8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.

9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

13. We waste time so you don't have to.

14. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

19. Succeed in spite of management.

20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

 

martes, 4 de enero de 2011

Bye-bye 2010

I hope you have enjoyed 2010. Welcome a new year full of love, health and joy. Happy 2011!!

Here are NEXT YEAR’s wishes for you.  

May you remain good looking and looking good.
May your accessories always harmonize with your natural beauty!
.

 May you always make the right moves.

 
 May you have as much fun as you can before someone makes you stop.

 
 May you find perfect balance in the company you keep.

  
May  you  manage  to  MAKE  time  for  siesta.


May the worst thing that happens to you come in slobbery pink and furry tan!


May you always find shelter from any storm.


May all the new folks you meet be interesting and kind. 
 

 May you always know when to walk away and when to run. 

  
May your cup runneth over with love.


May your friends always bring you joy.
 


REMEMBERING THAT LIVING WELL IS THE BEST
REVENGE AGAINST MORTALITY.